my grandpa is always making fun of old people he sees like he’s not 85
he goes “wow today was old folks day at olive garden” i was like yeah grandpa that’s why we brought you there at 4:30pm
Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something
being a girl is really fucking expensive
hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR YOUR DATES
hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR OUR TAMPONS, PADS, ULTRA SOUNDS, PAP SMEARS, OB/GYN VISITS, BRAS, CLOTHES, MAKE UP, HAIR PRODUCTS TO GO ON DATES WITH FUCKERS LIKE YOU?
I JUST WANT TO PLAY QUIDDITCH AND GO TO TRANSFIGURATION CLASS AND BUY MY SCHOOL BOOKS AND HAVE HOLIDAY FEASTS IN THE GREAT HALL AND TALK TO THE GHOSTS AND GO TO HOGSMEADE AND PRACTICE SPELLS AND BE A WIZARD IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK
What they say to kids who want pets:
Are you sure you're not just saying you want one because all your friends have one? Remember, it's not going to be small and cute forever, it will grow up eventually! It's a living being that will depend entirely on you for the rest of its life. Are you really sure you're ready for this?
What they say to adults who DON'T want kids:
Oh, you'll want one sooner or later. Everybody does, after all. Besides, babies are soooo cute, aren't they? You'd better hurry up before you get too old!
why does my body keep producing acne why can’t you focus on more important things like growing wings or making me hot
do you ever just look at little kids and think
“damn, you’re gonna be one fine as fuck piece of ass in ten years”